The 3 Date Rule: When is a Good Time to Sleep With Your New Crush?

When is the right time to get down and dirty?

It is a topic that has had me most confused since the age of about 16; when is it the right time to sleep with your new crush? The answer for me has changed over time, had you of asked a 16 year old me, I would have said that he definitely needed to be official and long term, my outright response would have been 6 months to a year, sounds long doesn’t it?

And while our ladies from hit TV series Sex and The City wold have you believe three dates is the perfect time, the truth is, is that like many other issues in relationships, the answers aren’t black and white.

” This doesn’t help me!” I hear you cry, while I can’t advise you over when you should go the whole hog with your new crush, I can pose a few questions that may help you make up your mind:

Are you on the same page? Do you both want a relationship?- It can be really hurtful jumping into something with someone and then finding out you both want different things. Have an honest chat about whether you’re both after a relationship, or something a little more casual.

What do you know about each other? – If it’s an emotional connection your after it’s good to know silly details about each other. Spend time with each other first.

Are you both clear of any nasties?- Nasties: The clap, warts, blue waffle, genital hurties that are formally known as STDs. If you don’t know, why don’t you know? Surely, you go to the dentists every six months, so why wouldn’t you get yourself tested every time you enter a new sexual relationship (if you don’t get your teeth checked every six months then there is probably no chance for you)

What form of contraception are you going to use? You NEED to talk about this, unless you want to end up on Jeremy Kyle. And if you can’t discuss it with your other half you probably shouldn’t be having sex with them.

Your place or mine? For god sake when you do the deed make sure the bedsheets and fresh.

So there we go, a few things I know I like to have a think about before I do the deed.

10 Reasons Why… Finding a Boyf Isn’t One of My 2014 Resolutions

It’s the New Year and so all of a sudden the media is flooded with the following: Get Fit DVDs, Summer Holiday deals and Dating Sites. I’ve had this New Year resolution before
“find myself a nice young man”

I have never been successful. So my 10 reasons why finding a man isn’t a priority for 2014….

1.       Like I said, I have never quite been successful on this one before and I just don’t like feeling like I have failed.
2.       Extending on number 1 I refused to deem myself a failed woman just because I don’t have a hunky man friend.
3.       I’m picky. I very rarely come across a man I want to romance. I just don’t think I could lower my standards in order to tick a box.
4.       If love happens when you least expect it, perhaps I should stop expecting to find it.
5.       I already have a massive list of things I need to work on. I don’t wanna make that list any longer.
6.       I’m honestly not quite sure what I’m looking for.
7.       There is a drought in my area. A serious drought. If I was to find someone in my town you could guarantee they will definitely be someone’s hand me downs. No thank you.
8.      I’m currently doing operation “Move Away” this means getting as far away as possible from this town. It wouldn’t be fair to expect someone to move to because I wouldn’t stay.
9.    Sometimes I like spontaneous happenings
10.  2014 is MY year.

   

Why Don’t You Have a Boyfriend?

A question I’m asked quite a bit. This seems to be something that bugs my Mother more than it bugs me. I don’t have a boyfriend, so according to her I don’t have a life. This is offensive in many ways:
a) I do have a life
b) It suggests that my success is only measured by how attractive a man finds me.

Whatever happened to measuring my worth by what I have personally achieved, and how I treat the people already present in my life?  What about my talents? Or whether I’ve taken part in voluntary work in one of the world’s poorest countries? Is all that really cancelled out simply because I’m a lone ranger?

Attached people, do I ask you WHY you’re in a relationship? Do I look at you like you’re a leper when you tell me how long you’ve been together? Do I ever assure you that one day you’ll be single again? No.

 People have many reasons for not being in a relationship. To judge them on it is somewhat insensitive.

It’s really lovely that you have a partner. Maybe one day I’ll have the same, but for now I’m working on loving myself,  building my life and being the best person I can be, because ultimately that’s what life is about, yes?

New Year, Ne… Oh.

Well hello 1st January 2014….

That came around quick. Honestly 2013 wasn’t great. I never liked the number 13 and I genuinely can’t list any achievements (unless I can use discovering vodka infused cheese as one- it was amazing) I won’t go into why it wasn’t successful. It wasn’t. Lets move on.

Around this time last year I made a “13 Things to do for 2013” I achieved 3. Yes that’s right. I achieved 3 out of 13. I’ll let you do the basic Maths (I’m too hung-over for that today; I’m pretty sure it involves some division and multiplication though) I won’t share that list- it’s in the past, but today I did sit down and construct a slightly more realistic list for 2014.

I already have a more positive feeling about this year, something I didn’t have about the last one, and sometimes that can be a massive part of it all, can’t it?

So this is my 2014 list…

Save money
This year I have saved approximately £3.23 in copper. Winning. This year I aim to save a bit each month. This will mean looking at current savings accounts and picking the one with the highest interest rate to get the best possible deal. What a grown up.
Weekend Away
Now if you’re anything like my Mother you will assume that I do not have a life due to my single status. This year I plan to go away for the weekend with a girlfriend of mine and have a jolly good time, without a male- because that is possible. Perhaps she’ll think I’m a lesbian.
Have lunch with old friends
The ones I spent three years living with. I miss them so much. We try and talk as much as possible, but now the adult world has gotten in the way and being spread out over the country means we’re no longer in each other’s pockets. I think a good meal and a few bottles of wine are in order.
Make an expensive purchase
I didn’t actually treat myself to anything ridiculous in 2013. Devastating. I do have my beady little eye on a Michael Kors watch though. At the moment I’m just popping into House of Fraser every few weeks to visit, but one day I will bring it home with me, and still be able to eat for the rest of the week.
Take up some form of exercise
One of my best friends is a complete gym bunny. I could crack nuts on her abs of steel. I’m not after a six pack, but I would like to be a little more active.
Read more
I read a bit in the summer, but then I stopped. There are a few books I really want to read and this year I really want to get round to reading them. But in general, just read more, more books, more blogs, more magazines, more newspapers, more poetry.
Learn how to cook a roast
I can cook a few things. I can bake too, but I’m yet to master a Roast Dinner and no man is going to want to wife me if I can’t cook a good roast.
Pay off the overdraft
When I started uni at the tender age of 18 I stupidly saw my overdraft as “free money” it is not free money. It is a debt. And it has got to the point where looking at my bank account makes me feel panicky. I need an account that’s in credit. And I need it by the end of 2014.
Change banks
Once I’ve paid off said overdraft I am leaving my bank. I have been treated appallingly by them this year and the last straw ended in me screaming down the phone at a soft sounding welsh girl for something that was not her fault. I won’t tell you who my bank are. I will tell you that 2013 wasn’t good for them either; as they were fined over money laundering issues, and have upset a few people by destroying the rainforest.

So there we go. I do have a few more private things I wish to keep to myself. I will most probably keep you updated throughout the year with how it’s all going. I’m hoping to add more articles about what I’m actually up to as a single girl, but don’t worry I’ll still have include my witty (read bitter) posts about why men are baddddd.

Do you have any New Year resolutions?