Monthly Archives: March 2014

Jealousy- Is it ever OK in a relationship?

Jealousy is probably one of the strongest human emotions, which we can all feel from time to time, but when it does rear its ugly, green head how much is too much? And how do we deal with it?relationship Jealousy 300x199 Jealousy  Is it ever OK in a relationship?

Firstly, it is fair to say that jealousy often stems from insecurity.  In past relationships I have dealt with jealousy; both on my part and theirs, for many reasons, and on reflection the deeper issue was often to do with a feeling of inadequacy. We may get jealous of our partners co-worker because she’s tall and blonde, whereas you are a petite brunette, what you must remember is that your partner is with you and not them. Acting irrationally is not going to help, and may only push your partner further away. I’ve always been a big fan of communication in a relationship and sometimes the only way to help overcome your jealous behaviour is to talk with your partner regarding your insecurities. Although tread carefully because it is often the words used that can be the difference between a heart to heart and a blazing row. Accusatory language such as: “I hate it when you hang out with her” is likely to cause the latter. Instead try: “I feel (insert feeling) when you hang out with her because (insert reason)” that way it will feel less like you’re attacking them. Asking your partner to cease all behaviour that makes you jealous (such as talking to that pretty work colleague of his) is plain ridiculous; you both need to work on the issue, not the cause…

Check out my article for Singles Warehouse

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Sir Moanalot

Unfortunately this attitude is unacceptable in real life

Unfortunately this attitude is unacceptable in real life

It’s been a little while (OK a long while) since I’ve written on my blog. I’ll admit I’ve been focusing on other things- work, play, generally sorting my life out and unfortunately my blog has suffered. Forgive me.

I thought I’d share a little story with you. Last week I rejoined a well known, free dating site. This dating site offers an ocean of different types of fish, in which hopefully you’ll find your Nemo (if you haven’t got which site I’m talking about then I don’t know how to help you) Anyway, I quickly got talking to a guy; a relatively cute, rugby type guy. We’d been talking for a short while, when he asked if I would like to meet. I had quite a good feeling about his cheerful banter and so agreed. He had said that he would pick me up and we would go for lunch. Fine, although I did warn him that my house was hard to find and he would get lost. He scoffed slightly at my warning and insisted. I gave him the benefit of the doubt- maybe he’d been really good at geography at school. However, knowing the amount of friends who had found themselves lost on the way to my house before, I didn’t hold out much hope.

As we were to be eating closer to my neck of the woods, we agreed that I would find the local watering hole for us to spend some time. My neck of the woods is quite rural, and many of the places are small pubs. I decided on a small but friendly gastro pub. Fairly out of the way, but I knew how to get there and home again.

The day arrived and the plan was that he would pick me up at 12.15, 12.30 rolled around and I received a text:
“can’t find your house”
I asked him where he was. He didn’t know. He then text me with a house name- of which I had never heard of and then told me to come and find him. I had to walk 15 mins before I eventually found him. He had parked up on the side of the road and for me to get into his car it meant walking up onto a muddy side bank. My shoes got covered in mud and upon entering the car he did not look pleased by this. He then proceeded to moan about the location of my house: “Why on earth did I live there for?”  (I’m sorry, I lost my job and had to move back home with my parents, it was that or a cardboard box)
He then asked for directions to the place I had planned for us to go. I gave him directions. I said left, he went right; he was of the opinion that I probably didn’t know where it was. When he eventually listened we arrived to our destination. Upon arriving he found the following things wrong with it:
it was old
the ceiling was low
he didn’t like the furniture
the list went on and on and on

As for conversation, Sir Moanalot spent the whole time moaning. First off he moaned about how hard he worked (although I wouldn’t understand because I probably didn’t work as hard as him) then he moaned about his elbow (he had hurt it during a rugby match) he moaned about my choice of drink, he moaned I drank too slowly, moan moan moan.

He didn’t ask me many questions about myself, and the awkward silences became longer and longer as time went on. After a while, we awkwardly ended the date (he moaned because he had washing to do and needed to get it done before his long week at work) He then came out with this little beauty
“You’re paying”
No. No I wasn’t. I told him this and he moaned about that as well.

I didn’t really speak to Sir Moanalot after our date. I had a few moany text messages, but it died a silent death.

And so my search goes on. If you know of any big, strong, HAPPY men send them in my direction. I’m too young for a grumpy old man just yet!

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