Tag Archives: single girl

Why we Should Say NO to Negging

Sounds like a hardcore sex act, in reality it’s a lot worse…

Until last night I was unaware of the term negging. In fact, I didn’t even know it was a thing until it had happened to me. And when I shared my experience with a few female friends, I was upset to find that some of them had experienced the same thing.
Negging
verb;
A low-grade insult meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances. (Urban dictionary:2009)

Arseholes

Arseholes

 

Sounds delightful.

Negging is one of the tactics used by the writer of the infamous (in my opinion) “The Game” a book that offers tips and advice to the everyday Joe Bloggs on how to pick up women. As previously mentioned it works on the idea that by handing a woman a backhanded compliment it will undermine her confidence and make her work for your validation.

The neg I received in question?
“Even though you’re boggle eyed, I would still smash you” He looked at me and smiled, clearly waiting for a response.
Nice. I stood there for a couple of seconds trying to work out what had just happened. A complete stranger had just approached me, insulted my appearance and then expected me to respond. If we look at this act on a deeper level, it’s actually quite sinister. The idea that someone should have to prove their validation to a complete stranger is stupid, and the fact that men are being encouraged to dent a woman’s self esteem just low enough so she will think you are her only option is abusive.

The book claims that negging suggests to a woman that he is a man who has confidence and does not care what she thinks. In my mind bringing someone down has never suggested confidence, but screams insecurity and that’s not hot. Like the old saying goes
“What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than it does of Sally”
Except in this case the Susie in question is a Steve.

It worries me more, that this might actually work on some girls. If it does, you haven’t bagged yourself a strong, confident woman. You’ve bagged yourself someone who has extremely low self-esteem.

As for the arsehole who negged me; I don’t have boggle eyes, they’re actually one of my best features. They’re big and almond shaped and for that one negative comment I could probably give you a hundred more that state the opposite. Seeking your validation is not something I need. I feel validated in myself. I have loving friend and family, a good education, a promising career, money in the bank, savings to fall back on and nice things I’ve worked hard for. I’d shave my head before going out with a guy who thought a good way to get into my knickers was by insulting me.

In all honesty if I’d had a drink in my hand I would have thrown it at his crotch and then mocked him for looking like he’d pissed himself.

 

 

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10 Reasons Why Being Single at Christmas Isn’t THAT Bad…

christmas singleAhh the Christmas season; an absolutely dreadful time to be single. No one to buy you presents, decorate the tree with, or snuggle up by the fire with. You may aswell just go to sleep and wake up when it’s all finished. Or not. So I give you: My 10 Reasons Why it’s Actually Not THAT Bad to be Single at Christmas Time:

1.       Christmas is increasingly becoming a competition to see whose other half got them the most expensive, romantic gifts. It’s not even about the gifts. It’s about the food. And the baby Jesus of course. I’d quite happily avoid being part of the “my boyfriends better than yours harem”
2.       The money you’ll save on presents will go towards a fabulous party dress.
3.       You can kiss whoever you want at these fabulous parties.
4.       You won’t have to have the “your place or mine” discussion over where to spend Christmas Day. Someone’s Mum always gets the hump over that one.
5.       All the Christmas cheese, chocolate and wine. It’s mine. All mine. No one elses’.
6.       I know a lot of blokes who find themselves “winter girlfriends”.  I cannot think of anything worse than a man who uses me as his personal foot-warming tool. DO NOT TOUCH ME WITH YOUR COLD FEET.
7.         You don’t have to worry about getting fat from all the glorious food; because no one is gonna see you naked
8.       The absence of a sarcastic narrator throughout all Christmas soaps/talent shows/reality TV Christmas specials, is quite frankly, bliss.
9.       There is no one to protest the theme of the tree- which in my case is ALL THE COLOURS and tacky, Santa shaped baubles.
10.   You can live in your Christmas jumper. My Rudolph jumper will be staying on all day, everyday for the whole of December.

So there,  I actually quite enjoy being single at Christmas. Yes, it is the season to spend with loved ones, but whose to dictate who those loved ones are. My girlfriends keep me merry throughout the season. And the year!

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10 Reasons Why I’d Rather Have a Dog than a Boyfriend…

So quite recently I gave you all 10 reasons why I’d rather have a cat, despite the fact I am actually more of a dog person, so this week I’m going to give you 10 reasons why a man’s best friend can also be a women’s…

1.       They’re easier to house train.
2.       Dogs are a lot better at picking up on your emotions.
3.       Dogs will eat whatever you give them. I once cooked a lovely home cooked meal from scratch for my then bf. He moaned because he wanted Dominoes pizza, looking back on it I wish I had thrown said cooked meal at him. Ungrateful toad.
4.       Dogs will happily express affection in public. The boyfriend above also would refuse to hold my hand in public. Arsehole.
5.       Dogs are happy with just a belly rub. Ever tried rubbing a guys belly and then rolling over to sleep. Not gonna happen.
6.       The dog is always happy to see you and will let you know it.
7.       Having a kick about with your dog in the park is a lot less scary than having a kick about with any testosterone driven male.
8.       The only bad thing a dog is likely to give you are fleas…
9.       Dogs will protect you, a recent survey showed that men would happily let their better halves go downstairs in the middle of the night to investigate a strange noise
10.   Your dog won’t stray because you can put him on a leash; only certain types of men will agree to wear a leash.  I’m not sure I would want to date these types of men anyway.

Men will never do the puppy dog eyes as well as puppies.

Men will never do the puppy dog eyes as well as puppies.

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Social Media Sharing and Relationships- What Happens When It All Goes Wrong?

 

social-media-screen

Gone are the days of simple technology. In the year of 2013 I find myself signed up to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Google+, Pintrest, LinkedIn, Foursquare; I also have various email accounts- both personal and professional. The only problem is that my exes do too. This day and age means that I am technologically easy. A social media whore.

Now when I break up with someone, I don’t just break up with them once, but over and over again until all knowledge of the relationship no longer exists on my social media sites.

Not to mention the overuse of the exes name in the search bar every day after said break up.  By the way- the status update and search bar are dangerously close to each other, Mr Zuckerburg.

The problem lies here. Back in the day (not that I remember a life without cyber stalking) if you were to break up with someone, the only contact you would have afterwards would be telephone.

Social Media has now become the ultimate stalking tool. I know everything about my Facebook friends- their favourite films, where they’re going on a Saturday night, what they think of Riri’s new music video, the political party they vote for and whether they agree with the latest xenophobic article published by The Daily Mail. THIS IS THE VERY PROBLEM. We share everything with hundreds of strangers’ everyday- some of whom we only met once, when we were drunk… and dressed as a crayon for Halloween. So if you happen to be friends with your exes mum’s dog, this means that you will still know exactly what your ex is up to. This sucks.

My Facebook boasts roughly 590 “friends”. Do I have this many people that I regularly hang out with? No I do not.

Delete the hangers on
I have promised myself I am going to have a Facebook clearout. A good place to start are people who use their page as a political platform (and these people often have no idea what they’re talking about) shortly followed by people whose statuses I cannot understand due to poor sentence structure, and not forgetting those annoying people who are convinced that if I don’t share the picture a troll will eat me in my sleep. Don’t forget to delete the ex.  Or the exes dickhead of a best friend, who you weren’t allowed to call a dickhead when you were still together cos, ya’know,  it was his best friend.

Do you really need to state you’re in a relationship on your profile?
Making a relationship Facebook official means there may come a day when you’ll need to make the break up  Facebook official. Cue hundreds of people you haven’t spoken to asking “if you’re OK hun?”  Do they really care? Probably not, but people are nosey and your break up is going to make good pub gossip. The last time I found myself changing my status back to “single” I saw it receive over 20 likes from boys on my friends list I barely knew:
1. I did not like this and I did not appreciate that other people liked it.
2. I’m pretty sure the other person didn’t like it either, in fact I know they didn’t because we had an argument about my new male admirers.

The couple photos
I’m not talking about the ones of you on holiday or just general ones of you together. I’m talking about the ones of you kissing or the ones of you in bed together. We get it. You had sex.

Now I’m not telling you not to shout your love from the rooftops, and a few statuses and pictures are less permanent than a tattoo, but when it comes to sharing, sometimes it’s best not to.

 

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10 Reasons Why I’d Rather Have a Cat than a Boyfriend…

  1. Cats don’t fart or burp. Will maybe they do, but I’ve never witnessed (or smelt) it.
  2. Cats don’t answer back. Sometimes you really don’t need that sarcastic comment over your new pair of nude coloured shoes (to add to your other 27 pairs.
  3.   You don’t have to share your treats with your cat; chocolate, cheese, wine.. it’s not good for them.
  4. Cats don’t know when their birthday is; that means more money going into my Louboutin shoe fund.
  5. Cats will catch the bugs. I am noticing an increasing amount of men who are scared of spiders. Seriously?! If you’re not gonna get the bugs out of the bath tub my pussy and I don’t want you in our lives.
  6. Cats don’t make stupid comments throughout your favourite TV shows. I JUST WANT TO WATCH BACK TO BACK EPISODES OF “DON’T TELL THE BRIDE” IN PEACE. I don’t want to hear another lecture form YOU telling me how “weddings are a waste of money”. They’re not; you’re just a commitment-phobe with a tight wallet.
  7. Cats are happy to just listen to your problems; sometimes I just want to have a moan about something. I don’t want you to try and solve the problem. I just want you to listen.
  8. My house is a football free zone because my cat thinks it’s stupid too.
  9. Cats won’t steal your expensive moisturiser.
  10. Your cat won’t leave the toilet seat up. The bathroom is all yours!

So as much as I dread dying alone, surrounded by cats, I sometimes think that maybe the cat ladies are onto something.

crazy cat lady..

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10 Reasons Why it Was a Bad Date…

First dates are meant to be exciting; they can also be very nerve wrecking. You’ve been texting, there has been a little bit of flirting… then you get there and it just doesn’t go as well as you thought it would. Here are a few reasons why…. 

  1. They were late. No one likes to be kept waiting; showing up 10 minutes late is just rude.
  2. They only spoke about themselves. They didn’t ask any questions and left not really knowing anything about you.
  3. The chat was boring. Not only did they talk about themselves all night, what they did say wasn’t that interesting.
  4. You were bored. Dates should be exciting if you’d rather be at home watching  “Take Me Out” then you know it’s not going good.
  5. They were too touchy-feely. Octopus hands on a first date are uncomfortable and unwanted.
  6. Rudeness.Manners don’t cost the earth and people who don’t mind their Ps & Qs really need to have a word with themselves.
  7. This one will probably upset a few people. I once went on a date with a guy who at the end of it got a calculator out and totalled up how much we both had to pay. I don’t expect to have everything paid for, but if you want a second date I wouldn’t suggest doing that. He did ask for a second date. I said no.
  8. The ex factor. We don’t mention them on a first date. We shouldn’t really mention them until it gets serious.
  9. You just don’t fancy them.
  10. They’re too intense; asking questions about where you see this going before the main course has even arrived is a little bit scary.

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