Tag Archives: internet dating

Is it OK to Date Multiple People?

multiple people

When I first started internet dating, I found the amount of messages I received to be somewhat overwhelming. I cautiously brought this up with a friend who was on the same site, in fear of sounding big headed and found that she felt the same way too.
When you’re out in a bar, you may get chatted up, but not many people will experience groups of the opposite sex trying to engage in conversation with you at the same time, but when we’re sat behind our computer this is often commonplace. We have so much choice, we may find ourselves talking to 2 or 3 people whom we find attractive and get along with quite well. I’ve found myself in a situation a few times when I’ve agreed to a date with more than one person- but is this OK?
Is it OK to date multiple people?
When you sign up to a dating site, you should expect for there to be lots of other people on there looking for a serious relationship, there will also be lots of other people who aren’t, and how do we find this out? We find this out by talking. Talking with just one person is like putting all our eggs in just one basket, and ya know, as a woman I wanna make sure my eggs get the best possible basket! And if you get on online- that’s great, but will you get along offline? The only way to find this out is by dating. Going on dates with various people isn’t a bad thing, it isn’t cheating. I think if you’ve met online you can expect that the person you’re talking with will be talking to and dating other people. Dating other people is fine, be honest about it and remember not to take it personally when you discover others are multiple dating too.
When it doesn’t become OK?
Whilst I believe multiple dating is OK in the first stages, I draw a line after a while. When is it not OK? For me I would say that this is a boundary that needs to be set by the couple. For example, you may have been on a couple of dates and things are getting a little more serious; when you’re sleeping together (let’s not contribute to spreading any nasties about) Ultimately remember that the choice is between you and one other. Either way it probably involves the dreaded “talk” …. that’s for another post!

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Jealousy- Is it ever OK in a relationship?

Jealousy is probably one of the strongest human emotions, which we can all feel from time to time, but when it does rear its ugly, green head how much is too much? And how do we deal with it?relationship Jealousy 300x199 Jealousy  Is it ever OK in a relationship?

Firstly, it is fair to say that jealousy often stems from insecurity.  In past relationships I have dealt with jealousy; both on my part and theirs, for many reasons, and on reflection the deeper issue was often to do with a feeling of inadequacy. We may get jealous of our partners co-worker because she’s tall and blonde, whereas you are a petite brunette, what you must remember is that your partner is with you and not them. Acting irrationally is not going to help, and may only push your partner further away. I’ve always been a big fan of communication in a relationship and sometimes the only way to help overcome your jealous behaviour is to talk with your partner regarding your insecurities. Although tread carefully because it is often the words used that can be the difference between a heart to heart and a blazing row. Accusatory language such as: “I hate it when you hang out with her” is likely to cause the latter. Instead try: “I feel (insert feeling) when you hang out with her because (insert reason)” that way it will feel less like you’re attacking them. Asking your partner to cease all behaviour that makes you jealous (such as talking to that pretty work colleague of his) is plain ridiculous; you both need to work on the issue, not the cause…

Check out my article for Singles Warehouse

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Sir Moanalot

Unfortunately this attitude is unacceptable in real life

Unfortunately this attitude is unacceptable in real life

It’s been a little while (OK a long while) since I’ve written on my blog. I’ll admit I’ve been focusing on other things- work, play, generally sorting my life out and unfortunately my blog has suffered. Forgive me.

I thought I’d share a little story with you. Last week I rejoined a well known, free dating site. This dating site offers an ocean of different types of fish, in which hopefully you’ll find your Nemo (if you haven’t got which site I’m talking about then I don’t know how to help you) Anyway, I quickly got talking to a guy; a relatively cute, rugby type guy. We’d been talking for a short while, when he asked if I would like to meet. I had quite a good feeling about his cheerful banter and so agreed. He had said that he would pick me up and we would go for lunch. Fine, although I did warn him that my house was hard to find and he would get lost. He scoffed slightly at my warning and insisted. I gave him the benefit of the doubt- maybe he’d been really good at geography at school. However, knowing the amount of friends who had found themselves lost on the way to my house before, I didn’t hold out much hope.

As we were to be eating closer to my neck of the woods, we agreed that I would find the local watering hole for us to spend some time. My neck of the woods is quite rural, and many of the places are small pubs. I decided on a small but friendly gastro pub. Fairly out of the way, but I knew how to get there and home again.

The day arrived and the plan was that he would pick me up at 12.15, 12.30 rolled around and I received a text:
“can’t find your house”
I asked him where he was. He didn’t know. He then text me with a house name- of which I had never heard of and then told me to come and find him. I had to walk 15 mins before I eventually found him. He had parked up on the side of the road and for me to get into his car it meant walking up onto a muddy side bank. My shoes got covered in mud and upon entering the car he did not look pleased by this. He then proceeded to moan about the location of my house: “Why on earth did I live there for?”  (I’m sorry, I lost my job and had to move back home with my parents, it was that or a cardboard box)
He then asked for directions to the place I had planned for us to go. I gave him directions. I said left, he went right; he was of the opinion that I probably didn’t know where it was. When he eventually listened we arrived to our destination. Upon arriving he found the following things wrong with it:
it was old
the ceiling was low
he didn’t like the furniture
the list went on and on and on

As for conversation, Sir Moanalot spent the whole time moaning. First off he moaned about how hard he worked (although I wouldn’t understand because I probably didn’t work as hard as him) then he moaned about his elbow (he had hurt it during a rugby match) he moaned about my choice of drink, he moaned I drank too slowly, moan moan moan.

He didn’t ask me many questions about myself, and the awkward silences became longer and longer as time went on. After a while, we awkwardly ended the date (he moaned because he had washing to do and needed to get it done before his long week at work) He then came out with this little beauty
“You’re paying”
No. No I wasn’t. I told him this and he moaned about that as well.

I didn’t really speak to Sir Moanalot after our date. I had a few moany text messages, but it died a silent death.

And so my search goes on. If you know of any big, strong, HAPPY men send them in my direction. I’m too young for a grumpy old man just yet!

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An Alternative to Valentines

 

valentines

So there seems to be three camps when it comes to Valentine’s Day:

Loved up and celebrating

Single and bitter

Taking full advantage of all the wine and chocolates on offer.

If you’re lucky enough to have someone to celebrate with that’s great, but if you don’t, or for whatever reason your other half isn’t able to share the day with you, what is one to do? I’ve compiled some of my best tried and tested alternative ways to spend this wonderful, consumer driven day.

Clubbing
One of my best V days was spent in a gay bar with two of my bestest girl friends. We danced to cheesy pop and no one wanted to try and get in our pants because as in real life we didn’t appeal to the clientele. For once in our life we found guys who loved Britney just as much as we did. It generally was a happy, non threatening atmosphere.

An Anti Valentines Dinner
Yes. My best girl friends and I had an anti valentines dinner. We booked our table, got rather merry before arrival and spent the entirety of the meal causing a bit of a ruckus by doing various things such as sucking the helium out of balloons and singing stupid songs. This is extremely immature and fun.

Girly sleepover
Do take advantage of all the chocolate and wine on offer, get the girls round for a pamper session and some karaoke, songs such as RESPECT and I Will Survive should deffo be sung at least three times!

So don’t let the loved up couples have all the fun! Get your fellow single friends round I’m sure you love them too!

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10 Reasons Why it Was a Bad Date…

First dates are meant to be exciting; they can also be very nerve wrecking. You’ve been texting, there has been a little bit of flirting… then you get there and it just doesn’t go as well as you thought it would. Here are a few reasons why…. 

  1. They were late. No one likes to be kept waiting; showing up 10 minutes late is just rude.
  2. They only spoke about themselves. They didn’t ask any questions and left not really knowing anything about you.
  3. The chat was boring. Not only did they talk about themselves all night, what they did say wasn’t that interesting.
  4. You were bored. Dates should be exciting if you’d rather be at home watching  “Take Me Out” then you know it’s not going good.
  5. They were too touchy-feely. Octopus hands on a first date are uncomfortable and unwanted.
  6. Rudeness.Manners don’t cost the earth and people who don’t mind their Ps & Qs really need to have a word with themselves.
  7. This one will probably upset a few people. I once went on a date with a guy who at the end of it got a calculator out and totalled up how much we both had to pay. I don’t expect to have everything paid for, but if you want a second date I wouldn’t suggest doing that. He did ask for a second date. I said no.
  8. The ex factor. We don’t mention them on a first date. We shouldn’t really mention them until it gets serious.
  9. You just don’t fancy them.
  10. They’re too intense; asking questions about where you see this going before the main course has even arrived is a little bit scary.

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10 Reasons Why it’s Better to be Single…

I am a single girl. Why do I hate saying that? It’s not that bad… I’m single and fabulous. So here are 10 reasons why it is better to be single…

single girl what I do

1.       You get the bed to yourself. A whole double bed; you can do the starfish
2.       You can have a quiet night in, sitting in your onesie, eating a block of cheese with no one to judge you.
3.       No one is going to see you naked, so you don’t have to shave for weeks.
4.       Guilt free flirting.
5.       It’s one less special date to remember. You already have so many to keep up with.
6.       You can save the money you would have spent on said special dates and spend them on shoes. Expensive ones. Louboutins.
7.       You don’t have the text stress. If your friend doesn’t text you back, it’s normally fine, but, if your boyfriend doesn’t that’s when you start to have a meltdown.
8.       There is no one to nag you about the ridiculous amount of cosmetics you have overtaking the bathroom
9.       You’ll probably be thinner. People in relationships get comfortable and go out to dinner more.
10.   You’re free to do what you want. With no one to question you.

 So you see, being single isn’t THAT bad! You go girl.

single-girls-have-more-fun

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10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single…

andie anderson

I’m aware most of my posts look like I’m a man hating witch (I promise, I’m not) and that maybe the reason why I’m single is because I’M the one with the problem (nahhhh) and not the men I’m dating. So, with that in mind I sat down yesterday, with a glass of vino and compiled a list of all the possible reasons for my single status.

1.       You’re needy. Men don’t like this and apparently asking your beau if he wants to go out on Wednesday night equates to being a needy mess.
2.       You own loads of teddies. Men don’t like that creepy shit. I don’t care. My teddy doesn’t take up that much room. OK he is a bit gross and hasn’t been washed for the entirety of his 24 years, but he’s my friend.
3.       You drink too much. I like to think I can drink any man under the table. In reality I am 5ft 2 and can only handle two glasses of wine before I vom. Being sick in your handbag is not cool.

drunk
4.       Men are scared of your success… or lack of.
5.       Your face. Men are scared of my bright lipstick. They also don’t understand why I draw my eyebrows on.
6.       You smell. I smell expensive. I love Chanel perfume, most men get scared I’ll cost them a lot, but I promise I only wear Chanel on days that end in Y.
7.       You slept with him too soon. Silly you, didn’t you know you’re supposed to wait until the 3rd date?! Before that and “you is a slag”. Any longer than that and you’re frigid. Anyway, how dare you admit to liking sex. You’re not supposed to. Woman.
8.       You’re too fussy. Look, I’m sorry, but if you’re not over 6ft and on £30k a year, I don’t wanna know.
9.       You once mentioned you would like to get married and have children one day. Even if you didn’t specifically mean to them, they will start having visions of you turning into the crazy bunny boiler from Fatal Attraction.
10.   You don’t actually have room for a man in your life. I don’t think he would fit in my room because I have far too many nail polishes and shoes.

 So there we go. The most likely reasons for my everlasting singledom. To be honest though, I don’t think any of the above mentioned are bad reasons… what’s wrong with having over 100 pots of nail varnish and 60 pairs of shoes?! They’re necessities!

tumblr_m2qvlaRmOV1r1vwg1o1_500

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