The 3 Date Rule: When is a Good Time to Sleep With Your New Crush?

When is the right time to get down and dirty?

When is the right time to get down and dirty?

It is a topic that has had me most confused since the age of about 16; when is it the right time to sleep with your new crush? The answer for me has changed over time, had you of asked a 16 year old me, I would have said that he definitely needed to be official and long term, my outright response would have been 6 months to a year, sounds long doesn’t it?

And while our ladies from hit TV series Sex and The City wold have you believe three dates is the perfect time, the truth is, is that like many other issues in relationships, the answers aren’t black and white.

” This doesn’t help me!” I hear you cry, while I can’t advise you over when you should go the whole hog with your new crush, I can pose a few questions that may help you make up your mind:

Are you on the same page? Do you both want a relationship?- It can be really hurtful jumping into something with someone and then finding out you both want different things. Have an honest chat about whether you’re both after a relationship, or something a little more casual.

What do you know about each other? – If it’s an emotional connection your after it’s good to know silly details about each other. Spend time with each other first.

Are you both clear of any nasties?- Nasties: The clap, warts, blue waffle, genital hurties that are formally known as STDs. If you don’t know, why don’t you know? Surely, you go to the dentists every six months, so why wouldn’t you get yourself tested every time you enter a new sexual relationship (if you don’t get your teeth checked every six months then there is probably no chance for you)

What form of contraception are you going to use? You NEED to talk about this, unless you want to end up on Jeremy Kyle. And if you can’t discuss it with your other half you probably shouldn’t be having sex with them.

Your place or mine? For god sake when you do the deed make sure the bedsheets and fresh.

So there we go, a few things I know I like to have a think about before I do the deed.

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10 Reasons Why… Finding a Boyf Isn’t One of My 2014 Resolutions

It’s the New Year and so all of a sudden the media is flooded with the following: Get Fit DVDs, Summer Holiday deals and Dating Sites. I’ve had this New Year resolution before
“find myself a nice young man”

I have never been successful. So my 10 reasons why finding a man isn’t a priority for 2014….

1.       Like I said, I have never quite been successful on this one before and I just don’t like feeling like I have failed.
2.       Extending on number 1 I refused to deem myself a failed woman just because I don’t have a hunky man friend.
3.       I’m picky. I very rarely come across a man I want to romance. I just don’t think I could lower my standards in order to tick a box.
4.       If love happens when you least expect it, perhaps I should stop expecting to find it.
5.       I already have a massive list of things I need to work on. I don’t wanna make that list any longer.
6.       I’m honestly not quite sure what I’m looking for.
7.       There is a drought in my area. A serious drought. If I was to find someone in my town you could guarantee they will definitely be someone’s hand me downs. No thank you.
8.      I’m currently doing operation “Move Away” this means getting as far away as possible from this town. It wouldn’t be fair to expect someone to move to because I wouldn’t stay.
9.    Sometimes I like spontaneous happenings
10.  2014 is MY year.

   

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Why Don’t You Have a Boyfriend?

no boyf

A question I’m asked quite a bit. This seems to be something that bugs my Mother more than it bugs me. I don’t have a boyfriend, so according to her I don’t have a life. This is offensive in many ways:
a) I do have a life
b) It suggests that my success is only measured by how attractive a man finds me.

Whatever happened to measuring my worth by what I have personally achieved, and how I treat the people already present in my life?  What about my talents? Or whether I’ve taken part in voluntary work in one of the world’s poorest countries? Is all that really cancelled out simply because I’m a lone ranger?

Attached people, do I ask you WHY you’re in a relationship? Do I look at you like you’re a leper when you tell me how long you’ve been together? Do I ever assure you that one day you’ll be single again? No.

 People have many reasons for not being in a relationship. To judge them on it is somewhat insensitive.

It’s really lovely that you have a partner. Maybe one day I’ll have the same, but for now I’m working on loving myself,  building my life and being the best person I can be, because ultimately that’s what life is about, yes?

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To Snoop or Not to Snoop…

snooping In a recent conversation with a girlfriend, she confessed to one of dating’s most controversial topics:     snooping. My dearest friend had said that recently she felt something was up with her relationship; she wasn’t sure what it was, but she had a niggling feeling and so took to her boyfriend’s iPhone to spy on his messages. Which led me to the ultimate question- to snoop, or not to snoop?

You, like my good friend, may suspect there is something up with your current crush. You’re not sure what it is, but you know all is not right, and with the growing use of technology there are an abundance of places to hide our potential bad behaviours.

When you suspect your other half may be cheating, involved in drugs or taking part in any other type of debauchery, is it really OK to scour their emails, social media, phone, or even their drawers? Whilst I don’t believe there is a black or white answer, the next two paragraphs explore the shades of grey that come with snooping on your dearly beloved.

Follow the link to check out my first ever article, and reasons to snoop, or not…

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10 Reasons Why Being Single at Christmas Isn’t THAT Bad…

christmas singleAhh the Christmas season; an absolutely dreadful time to be single. No one to buy you presents, decorate the tree with, or snuggle up by the fire with. You may aswell just go to sleep and wake up when it’s all finished. Or not. So I give you: My 10 Reasons Why it’s Actually Not THAT Bad to be Single at Christmas Time:

1.       Christmas is increasingly becoming a competition to see whose other half got them the most expensive, romantic gifts. It’s not even about the gifts. It’s about the food. And the baby Jesus of course. I’d quite happily avoid being part of the “my boyfriends better than yours harem”
2.       The money you’ll save on presents will go towards a fabulous party dress.
3.       You can kiss whoever you want at these fabulous parties.
4.       You won’t have to have the “your place or mine” discussion over where to spend Christmas Day. Someone’s Mum always gets the hump over that one.
5.       All the Christmas cheese, chocolate and wine. It’s mine. All mine. No one elses’.
6.       I know a lot of blokes who find themselves “winter girlfriends”.  I cannot think of anything worse than a man who uses me as his personal foot-warming tool. DO NOT TOUCH ME WITH YOUR COLD FEET.
7.         You don’t have to worry about getting fat from all the glorious food; because no one is gonna see you naked
8.       The absence of a sarcastic narrator throughout all Christmas soaps/talent shows/reality TV Christmas specials, is quite frankly, bliss.
9.       There is no one to protest the theme of the tree- which in my case is ALL THE COLOURS and tacky, Santa shaped baubles.
10.   You can live in your Christmas jumper. My Rudolph jumper will be staying on all day, everyday for the whole of December.

So there,  I actually quite enjoy being single at Christmas. Yes, it is the season to spend with loved ones, but whose to dictate who those loved ones are. My girlfriends keep me merry throughout the season. And the year!

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Lonely This Christmas

I was speaking to a guy the other day and our conversation quickly turned to Christmas. I’ve always been one of those people who absolutely LOVE the festive season. The food, the fashion and spending time with the family. There is just something about the festive season that makes everybody nicer.

I told him this and upon doing so, he looked at me like I didn’t quite understand. He then said something that still perplexes me.

“There’s not really any point in Christmas if you don’t have a partner”

Oh. Silly me. I forgot I was sub-human because I’m lacking in a man friend. I would probably come up with a more sarcastic post if I was able to get around this man’s stupidity, but I can’t. I shall therefore go and hide under a rock until Christmas is over. Forever alone.

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