10 Reasons Why I’d Rather Have a Cat than a Boyfriend…

  1. Cats don’t fart or burp. Will maybe they do, but I’ve never witnessed (or smelt) it.
  2. Cats don’t answer back. Sometimes you really don’t need that sarcastic comment over your new pair of nude coloured shoes (to add to your other 27 pairs.
  3.   You don’t have to share your treats with your cat; chocolate, cheese, wine.. it’s not good for them.
  4. Cats don’t know when their birthday is; that means more money going into my Louboutin shoe fund.
  5. Cats will catch the bugs. I am noticing an increasing amount of men who are scared of spiders. Seriously?! If you’re not gonna get the bugs out of the bath tub my pussy and I don’t want you in our lives.
  6. Cats don’t make stupid comments throughout your favourite TV shows. I JUST WANT TO WATCH BACK TO BACK EPISODES OF “DON’T TELL THE BRIDE” IN PEACE. I don’t want to hear another lecture form YOU telling me how “weddings are a waste of money”. They’re not; you’re just a commitment-phobe with a tight wallet.
  7. Cats are happy to just listen to your problems; sometimes I just want to have a moan about something. I don’t want you to try and solve the problem. I just want you to listen.
  8. My house is a football free zone because my cat thinks it’s stupid too.
  9. Cats won’t steal your expensive moisturiser.
  10. Your cat won’t leave the toilet seat up. The bathroom is all yours!

So as much as I dread dying alone, surrounded by cats, I sometimes think that maybe the cat ladies are onto something.

crazy cat lady..


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