Something a little different for a Monday morning, whilst I try to take a positive view on life as a singleton, there are times when I sometimes feel I’m not at the stage I should be. This counts for all aspects of my life.
When I was a little girl, I imagined that by the age of 21 I would be married and by the age of 23 I would have had my first child. I definitely assumed I would own my own home. What I didn’t take into account was that relationships aren’t like Disney films, house prices are steep, and childbirth is scary.
My basis for these assumptions were of course my mother and the women who had gone before me. My Mum had three children by the age of 26, whereas I can only hope that by that age, I will finally feel comfortable with the direction in which my life is heading. As I speak to friends, scroll through my social media and read other blogs, I realise I am not alone. It seems I am heading for a quarter life crisis. According to a recent poll from The Telegraph 86 per cent of us are. No one ever prepared us for post-university life; the hundreds of job rejections, pressures of real adult relationships and the true cost of inflation.
These feelings are normal. And you’re not the only one having them, even though it may feel like you are. So what can you do?
Please don’t shoot me. I know this is the most annoying thing you can hear, but it really does ring true. Sitting about moping because you’re not where you want to be will just breed negative energy. Don’t give up because there is no other option. My brother found himself unemployed after finishing college where he had completed a course in sport and fitness. He did numerous amounts of voluntary work experience placements, only to be told at the end of it that the businesses he had been volunteering for did not have the money to take him on as an employee. He was unemployed for 18 months and took the first job he was offered. It was in a factory. My brother is a bright boy and didn’t ever imagine that was where he would end up. He is now a supervisor of said factory and was recently put on a management scheme. You will get there. It may not be how or what you expected, but if you work hard, it will happen.
Forget the five year plan
When I was 18 I made a five year plan of where I expected to be at 23. It involved living in London in a posh flat, with a cute boyfriend and swanky career. This did not happen. The failure I felt when I looked back on my goals and realised I had not reached any of them where devastating. STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF. No one can predict what’s going to happen in the future and sometimes these things are out of our control. Take each week as it comes. Focus on the now and work from there. The achievements you do make will seem a lot greater without the five year plan.
Stop comparing yourself
It is so easy to compare yourself to friends, people you went to school with and people you don’t even know. STOP THIS NOW. We can log onto Facebook , Twitter, Instagram and any other social media and browse through pictures of statuses of other people having the time of their lives. What we do need to remember though, is that social media only allows us to see what people want us to. Not many people will post statuses focusing on the negative parts. Just remember, we have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
So basically, it’s OK to feel a bit lost in your early to mid twenties. Keep going. You’ll get there.