We’ve all been there, one minute you’re on cloud 9, you’re convinced you’ve finally found them, and then the next, it has all gone wrong. It’s sad, but unfortunately it will happen to most of us at one point or another. Whether you were together for 6 months or 6 years, the breakdown of a relationship can be extremely upsetting, but with these few snippets of advice you can be on your way to your old self, and perhaps in time ready to get back on that horse.
Talk to someone you trust
A friend or a family member. Breaking up is hard whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, there will be some hard feelings and you shouldn’t have to deal with them alone. When we talk about our problems this allows us to make sense of them, and discussing them with someone else can give you an outside perspective on your situation. We often see things with rose tinted glasses, but discussing these situations with someone else may allow us to see them for what they really are and offer us a fresh perspective.
It’s OK Not to Stay Friends
“Lets stay friends” a line that is often heard during the dreaded discussion, or maybe even a few days later. Please remember this can be extremely difficult if the split wasn’t mutual and it’s OK to want to distance yourself for a little while. We live in an age where there are endless ways to get in touch with people via social media, and this isn’t always a good thing, browsing your ex’s social media can often lead to feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. You’ll already be in a vulnerable place; don’t add fuel to the fire. Delete them off Facebook, Twitter and any other type of media that may allow you to see them having a seemingly good time.
Take Some Time for Yourself
Maybe you gave up an exercise class on Tuesday afternoon because it was the only afternoon you could spend with your ex, or maybe you always wanted to start a pottery class but couldn’t find the time. Take this opportunity to use this new found freedom to do some things for yourself.
Don’t be in a Rush to Change Your Image
A lot of people will claim that a break up is a great time for a style overview, but be very careful. After I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, I decided I would get a fringe cut. I didn’t think about it. I just booked the appointment ASAP, with a random hairdresser, and took in a photo of Mischa Barton and told her I wanted that hairstyle. This was a bad idea for two reasons
1) I have a round face, the style made it look rounder
2) I have naturally very curly hair.
So at a time I was feeling very insecure, I now had a hairstyle that didn’t suit me. Not ideal. If you do feel the need to change something, think very carefully. I would advise asking friends and family for opinions, using a hairdresser you trust and not committing to anything too permanent.
Alcohol Isn’t Always the Answer
A lot of people revel in doing the “look at me I’m having such a blast” which is fine, if you are, but going out and getting drunk to deal with a break up can be unhealthy. Alcohol is a depressant and if you’re turning to alcohol to deal with an emotional issue it could be a sign of something much deeper. If you’re concerned you’re not coping, speak to your GP.